Book Review! (Well, a few ideas anyway....)

Shalom!

The following ideas are taken from another book by Lloyd Rediger, a pastoral counselor who is perhaps best known in clergy circles for his book of a number of years ago about "clergy killers" or persons who abuse pastors in a variety of ways and tend to keep congregations in turmoil. This book on toxic congregations is about three kinds of congregations--the healthy, functioning congregations, the ones who could go either way, and the toxic or dysfunctional congregations. I don't claim to accurately convey Lloyd's ideas! You may want to check out the book yourself.

“Agendas for Human Behavior” from G. Lloyd Rediger’s THE TOXIC CONGREGATION: HOW TO HEAL THE SOUL OF YOUR CHURCH (Abingdon Press, 2007) Lloyd Rediger discusses “Why People Act Like They Do” in his book and makes use of a helpful chart, which I cannot reproduce here but will try to describe with words.

We have three agendas as human beings. An agenda is a “primary, overriding motivation pattern.” The first agenda is survival; the question is “Am I safe here?” Lloyd says this is the most powerful agenda because “it is governed by the two most potent human emotions—fear and pleasure seeking.” Feelings are dominant in this agenda. As one feels safe, one can move to the second agenda.

The second agenda is identity; the question is “Who am I, and what difference do I make?” Rediger says thinking is more dominant here, and the issues are competition or jealousy. On the chart, he shows anger and love (self and others) as the emotions felt.

The third agenda is relationship; the question is “What’s in this (whatever the issue the group is considering) for each of us and all of us together?” There is an integration of thinking and feeling, and sadness and joy are the emotions felt.

Lloyd suggests that the movement from survival through identity to relationship is a growth in awareness, self-management skills, and caring, but all the time there is a strong, maybe stronger, downward pressure of events and feelings that try to move us from relationship to identity to survival.

All of the above describes how we deal with what is facing us. Rediger suggests that while we all have various principles or rules to guide our behavior, "But the real determiners for behaviors, often despite the principles, are consequences." (p. 78) In other words, many times we act because of rules or principles, which we may think are rules that everyone accepts, when in fact, everyone does not. Why not? Because while some people want to regulate their behavior with the principles, others find their behavior regulated by the consequences of their decisions.

"And so today, ethics and morality are again dominated by consequences as the ultimate reference point. Though there are sharp divisions between the absolutist (‘my ethics are universal’) and consequential (‘we all have to live with each other’s consequences’) believers, it is difficult to sustain either view as ultimate for every situation. For beliefs can be wrong or ambiguous, and consequences can be unintended, unknown, or connected to other consequences." (p. 80)

Rediger adds an appendix to compare these two approaches to ethics:

“Appendix C” from G. Lloyd Rediger’s THE TOXIC CONGREGATION: HOW TO HEAL THE SOUL OF YOUR CHURCH (Abingdon Press, 2007)


Comparison of Absolutist and Consequential Ethics


Absolutist Ethics

Truth is absolute.
Truth can be known.
Truth is universally applicable.
Behavior that violates truth is unethical.
Ethical behavior benefits all.


Consequential Ethics

There are no absolutes, only consequences.
Behavior has shared, cumulative consequences.
The mind is the reference point.
Decision making is the ultimate behavior.
Negotiation is the primary skill.
Fairness is morality.
Learning is experiential.
Research on consequences is key to the future.
We know God and one another through consequences.
Beliefs and values emerge from consequences.



This is helpful to me. Everyone is working on the three agendas, which, while described in a vertical fashion with relationship at the top, really describe, ISTM, a process of maturation. Like Maslow's chart, we move from basic survival needs to more complex situations or challenges. We all have principles and we all agree with some common rules. And we all have consequences in our lives for decisions good or bad. We want to move to integration of thought and feeling and a sense of community, but there is a great pressure to revert back to matters of basic survival. Many of you will find this pretty ho-hum, but it moves me down the road a bit!

Shalom!
dave

Hmmm.... October is Clergy Appreciation Month!

Shalom!

I have discovered that October is Clergy Appreciation Month. Hallmark likes that, of course, and I think Focus on the Family promotes it, but in any case . . . "We love you guys and gals!" as the line goes.

How to appreciate clergy . . . hmmmmm.

+ compensation in line with others of like education and experience in the community
+ an email or note of appreciation
+ a renewed commitment to give the pastor/parsonage family privacy and time alone, especially on days off
+ a special treat of some sort for pastoral spouses and children
+ paying apportionments on time
+ gift to mission in honor of pastor and family
+ ?????

In appreciation for the working pastor from a retired one,

Shalom!

dave

Situational preaching

Shalom!

So many Wisconsin UMC colleagues traveling today to the Clergy Day in Stevens Point! I trust there will be good, safe travel and good, supportive conversations while carpooling!

Here's a funny from Mikey:

today'sFUNNY

The preacher's 5-year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head, for a moment, before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why. "Well, honey," he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages, "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon." "How come He doesn't do it?" she asked.
[forwarded by Steve Sanderson]

today'sTHOT: //////__ __ __ __ __ ... The domino effect at work.

PASS IT ON! Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com

For reasons a bit beyond me, I'm still stuck on preaching. Feedback on my thoughts is pretty much invisible, but I'll just keep babbling on, hoping to say something helpful! Note in the joke above that the observant child is a girl, and the preacher is a man. This is not all the current reality. Note too that the child (among and within us) has an expectation that God He can help us preach a good sermon. Well, surely the Spirit helps, and all that and more, but a good sermon also has something to do with the exchange or lack thereof between speaker and hearer.

Hence, my tiny essay on situational preaching, by which I mean the on-going process of interpreting Scripture for a local congregation given a specific community situation and a specific speaker and a generally regular congregation. I presume the speaker prepares and the congregation comes more or less to engage the Scripture in a community setting. [I find as a person now in the chairs/pews, I do in fact come with the hope that the service in general and the sermon in particular will provide help for me in interpreting the movement of God in the present day.]

A good sermon, in my opinion, will engage the mind and heart of the listener, offering encouragement for applying love to life and insight into how I might better connect with God. My sermons had a point (admittedly, often well hidden), but they were also offered as a starting place. That is, I really didn't care if the listener "tuned out" for a while to go where the Spirit led. In fact, I encouraged that. I also hoped that my preaching would "get inside" the hearer--not stop at ears or brain, but rather get right into the gut. [That's another reason why I prefer spontaneous prayers.] At some point, perhaps the speaker and the listener came together again in the course of the sermon and found empowerment or, at least, encouragement to keep on keeping on.

In preparing, then, I tried to figure out a theme for the entire worship service. It wasn't always a conscious thing, but I tried to tie together music, Scripture, children's time, and sermon. If I hit upon that theme early enough, I could "open up" my mind to the kinds of things that work well in sermons: illustrations from daily life, tidbits from reading, etc. Later, I could connect the dots and place a vision before the congregation. The vision thing is where the children's time was good. If I had a visual aid or a brief experiential thing, so much the better, but I do see real value in making the message easy enough for children to grasp. Yes, because the adults might listen more attentively to that than to the sermon . . . .

The delivery probably generally had a rough, unpolished, unfinished feel to it. For sure, my sermons were unfinished--because the world isn't finished! I used notes to help keep me on track as I would try to involve the hearers in the process of drawing present-day meaning from the ancient text-that-continues-to-live-and-grow. I guess I've generally thought of sermons as ephemeral things--here now for this moment and then pretty much gone. My Father typed his sermons in manuscript form, and many colleagues do too. [That helped when Dad's eyesight would act up--or down, actually, and someone could then literally step up and read his sermon.] But I've never been one to read collections of sermons, and I was usually more comfortable working from notes.

Lastly, at this point, what I would say in one community on a given text might be much different from what I would say from the same text but in another town. That might have to do with the level of education in the area, or it might have to do with what I perceived was the kind of worship experience the congregation expected. Over the years and the situations, I discovered that, really, there can be more in common across congregations than different. Receptivity to the sermon has a lot to do with getting to know one another as pastor and people, and that seems to be a factor of our common humanity.

Anything to add or discuss, Gentle Reader?

Shalom!

dave

Hospitality in our congregations

Shalom!

Remember, now, that I'm simply trying to be helpful. I'm no expert.

A couple of summers ago I took a three month leave. I called it a sabbatical leave, but I guess it was more correctly called something else--study or renewal or ????? Anyway, Barb and I took the opportunity to visit a number of congregations in the Milwaukee area for Sunday morning worship. This summer, newly retired and looking for a place to call (church) home, we again have been visiting in several Madison area churches.

What have we learned?

+ A congregation needs to expect guests in worship. Some do; many don't, or at least, it looks and feels that way. I think someone greeted us at each place we visited, but often that was the person assigned the task for that day. Even for us introverts, it helps if a human being/becoming smiles and says "Hi" and helps us find the sanctuary. This is really important when the main way in gets you to an odd spot--like the door just off the front of the sanctuary. Good clear signs can help.

+ Please don't ask me to stand and identify myself. It's pretty obvious I'm a newbie anyway. Don't give me a name tag unless, maybe, everybody else is wearing the same kind.

+ Do invite me to sign the attendance pad if there is one. I think it helps if everyone present is encouraged to sign the darned thing. I think it might be helpful if I could be told why I'm giving this information. Will I get a note or letter in response? Will I be put on the newsletter list? Will my address be sold for a profit to some off-the-wall charity?

+ It helps this introvert if when guests are welcomed and asked to sign the attendance pad, they are also informed about anything unusual in the service that day. Communion? The UMC offers the elements to all. Pledge Central? No problem; you don't need to fake anything. This is the point where I say that printing the Lord's Prayer and the doxology and such in the bulletin/program is a good idea.

+ I don't need a little welcome gift--especially at the very beginning of the service, but some might like that. And I don't feel slighted if no one shows up at my home that afternoon. This practice would depend a lot on the local situation, it seems to me.

+ It's been helpful for us to have someone invite us to whatever coffee hour there might be (some are hidden away in the Secret Place) or to introduce us to the pastor.

+ Joys and concerns, announcements, and prayer requests pose interesting dilemmas in my view. How can we incorporate these things into worship without causing the casual or seeking guest to wonder who these folks are and why should I care?

+ In new church preparation, we had been taught/it had been suggested that at the time of the offering, guests be assured that they are not expected to put money in the plate. I picked up on that and used it the rest of my career. Why? Well, it's not their church to support yet! And maybe they didn't come prepared. And also, the whole offering time gives us a chance to tell a story about what happens with the money and to emphasize that the offering needs to collect more than checks and dollars and coins!

+ Recently at the church I served we tried to give first-time guests a gift--notecards--when they came in, or, if we missed at that point, before they left. This was a start at the hospitality that, I think, needs to extend itself after worship. Say goodbye! Invite the guest to return. Check out the experience with them. While the building is familiar to regulars, some guests will have trouble even getting out the door they came in!

All these things and more. But nothing too extraordinary. Think of it like how you might welcome guests in your home.

I've been working off the balding top of my head. Use these ideas if you wish. Feel free to respond with your own ideas or reactions to these!

Shalom!
dave

Call your Representative on October 16th!

Shalom!

The Coalition on Human Needs folks at http://www.chn.org/ invite us to call our federal House of Representatives representative tomorrow, Tuesday, October 16th, to encourage them to vote to override the presidential veto of the SCHIP legislation. That's my position too, but if you want to call to support the veto, well, it's a free country . . . .

Here's some info from the Coalition on Human Needs:

On October 18, the U.S. House will vote on overriding that veto so these millions of children can get care. Rejecting the veto takes a two-thirds vote. It will be close. That's why your call is so important. Please call your Representative on Tuesday, October 16

Toll-free number: 1-800-965-4701

Ask for your Representative's office* - Urge him/her to vote to provide health coverage to millions of uninsured children by overriding the veto of the Children's Health Insurance Program Reauthorization Act (H.R. 976).

*If you don't know your Rep's name: http://www.house.gov/ (enter your zip code, upper left side)

See how your Rep. voted on final passage of the children's health bill: http://clerk.house.gov/evs/2007/roll906.xml

If your Rep. voted no, or didn't vote, your call is especially important - some of the no votes or absences must be turned around in order to get to two-thirds. We can get there - if you and your neighbors call!

Why you should call even if you're sure your Representative will vote in favor of the bill--

We need a huge volume of calls - enough to convince everyone that people are watching and want children to have health care. That tells proponents their constituents want them to keep fighting.

Blackwolf again: . . . or call to encourage the legislators to keep LOVING. They don't seem to have much trouble fighting.

Shalom!
dave

Healthy pastoral care (care for pastors by pastors)

Shalom!

Here's a press release from the UMC. I'm struck by this emphasis on health: life, not death. It reminds me of the lifting up of abundance vs. scarcity in stewardship.

Shalom!
dave

Healthy churches need healthy leaders, speakers say

Oct. 12, 2007
NOTE: Photographs are available at http://umns.umc.org.
By Deborah White*

WICHITA, Kan. (UMNS) - "If you're really serious about serving the Lord, you'd better start taking care of yourself," Bishop Scott Jones told health ministry leaders at a national conference.
"Empowering Ministries of Health: Starting, Implementing and Advancing" was the theme of the third annual National Congregational Health Ministries Conference, held Sept. 23-26 at the Spiritual Life Center in Wichita. The event was sponsored by the United Methodist Board of Pension and Health Benefits and the United Methodist Board of Global Ministries.

The conference continued a growing emphasis on health ministries in The United Methodist Church. It attracted 165 United Methodists from 54 annual (regional) conferences, more than double the attendance at the 2006 National Congregational Health Ministries Conference in Memphis, Tenn. A fourth annual conference is planned for Sept. 21-24, 2008, at Lake Junaluska, N.C.

"We have got to figure out how our churches become centers of healing - spiritual and physical," said Jones, who leads the denomination's Kansas Area. His opening keynote address laid a holistic foundation for the conference.

After reaching a point of exhaustion, Jones said he started paying more attention to his health. Now he wears a pedometer to count his steps, brings carrots to cabinet meetings and limits his caffeine intake.

Building healthy churches

Weaving scriptures and personal experiences, several other speakers joined Jones in emphasizing that self-care for leaders is an important step in building healthy congregations. Participants also toured two health ministries in Wichita and broke into four workshop tracks to study aspects of health ministries including planning, evaluation, teamwork, communications, coping with stress and making self-care covenants.

"The challenge is to get healthy ourselves, to pull back from the table," said the Rev. Embra Jackson, assistant to Bishop Hope Morgan Ward of Mississippi. Jackson, Ward and 600 clergy members in Mississippi wear pedometers and walk several miles a day as part of the Amazing Pace health ministry.

In the 1950s, pastors were at the top of the health charts, Jackson pointed out. "Now we're at the bottom," he said. "We need to get well. If leaders get healthy and well, the church gets healthy and well."

Kim Moore, president of the United Methodist Health Ministry Fund in Hutchinson, Kan., shared his personal struggles to stay in shape - such as lifting weights before a physically demanding mission trip and walking at 6 a.m. instead of sleeping while out of town on business.
"We increasingly know the behaviors that matter, but we struggle to incorporate them into our lives," Moore said.

The literature of health ministries says "get a team," Moore said. "Too many people believe they are essential. I thought I was essential. I took a sabbatical and found that my colleagues could run the Health Ministry Fund without me.

"We've got to get this attitude into the church: I am valuable but not essential."

Time for fitness

During his presentation, Moore used an exercise DVD to lead 10 minutes of simple exercises. The DVD, "Fuel Up and Lift Off LA," was produced by the California Department of Health Services to demonstrate how to fit fitness into meetings.

Bishop Mary Ann Swenson of the church's Los Angeles Area remarked about the growing participation in the health ministries conference. "To see how it has grown over the last three years is truly amazing," she said.

She told stories about long-distance tandem bicycle riding adventures with her husband to illustrate the principles of good teamwork: trusting each other, handling conflict in a healthy manner, building commitment, offering accountability and prioritizing results.

"Jesus sends disciples two by two," Swenson said. "It models the partnership God offers us through Christ. We are not alone. ... The one next to you is ready to go with you into the land of health, wholeness and holiness."

Bishop Ward said the health conference is an invitation to go forward with a rule of life. "Our rule of life is what we practically do," she explained.

For example, Ward exercises early in the morning. But it took her quite a while to put this practice into place in 1995. After exercising - somewhat reluctantly - for two months with her husband, she finally woke up and wanted to go. Her headaches disappeared. "I don't feel well if I don't exercise," she said.

"As we move forward in health ministries, we will engage with people who want to be well. It's important that we be rooted and grounded - and with strength that comes with humility," Ward said.

'Causes of life'

"This room is filled with people who embody faith and health," said Gary Gunderson, senior vice president for Health and Welfare Ministries at Methodist Le Bonheur Healthcare in Memphis.
Gunderson, internationally known for his work in faith and health, outlined the "leading causes of life." He stressed that this "language of life" is a better way to communicate about congregational health ministries than the language of death.

"Public health looks for unexpected pathology. We are looking for unexpected vitality and how you get more of it," he explained.

He defined the "leading causes of life" as:

• Connection. "A small congregation is the size of the connection that causes life."
  
• Coherence. "Congregations can't help but make coherent the love of God by showing up. That's the health power that is in congregations. It makes life coherent when you are falling apart."
  
• Agency - the capacity "to do"; making choices that matter for those who matter.
  
• Blessing - a sense of connection that ties one generation to the next.
  
• Hope. "Hope chains us together toward life. We live out of our expectations, our hopes."
  

Gunderson said using the "leading causes of life" as a framework helped pastors in Memphis set up a Congregational Health Network that connects church members with the five hospitals in the Methodist Le Bonheur Healthcare system.

In this network, a "navigator" representing each hospital and a liaison with each church work together to help church members when they need hospital care. The goal is to have 400 congregations in the network.

"The whole structure is to make sure a person is held in a web of intentional compassion," Gunderson said.

Setting priorities

At the closing worship, the Rev. Fred Douglas Smith Jr. of Wesley Theological Seminary in Washington D.C. said Jesus came to "trouble the water," referring to the story of Christ healing the man who waited years by a pool to be healed.

"Jesus asked, 'Do you want to be healed?' The question is really why do you want to be well?" Smith said. "Do you have a reason to live? Why do you want to be healed? What is it that gives your life meaning? What is the hope you have welling up inside of you?"

Smith said people served by health ministries often do not comply with guidelines for taking care of themselves. "They have no reason to comply," he suggested. "You need to ask the question, 'Is there something more important to you - than fried chicken or drugs?' ... Jesus entered the scene full of life and full of grace, saying, 'I have a reason.'

"Life is contagious. It spreads from smile to smile, from tender touch to tender touch. If you want to live, you need to be around folks who are alive."

*White is associate editor of Interpreter magazine and served on the leadership team for the National Congregational Health Ministries Conference. Both Interpreter and United Methodist News Service are ministries of United Methodist Communications.
News media contact: Deborah White, Nashville, Tn., (615) 742-5102 or newsdesk@umcom.org
********************
United Methodist News Service Photos and stories also available at: http://umns.umc.org

How are you today, Pastor?

Shalom!

I'm more than a little slow on two things at least! One is the reporting out of the Connectional Table State of the Church material, and the other is this concern about the health of clergy. It's dated Nov. 1, 2006.

http://www.umc.org/site/c.gjJTJbMUIuE/b.2221635/k.EC98/Connectional_Table_affirms_four_provocative_proposals.htm

Partial quote from the article:

"During the meeting, the health task force presented information to the group that health care claims by United Methodist clergy in the United States are 16 percent higher than those of other employers with more than 500 employees across the nation. Barbara Boigegrain, chief executive of the United Methodist Board of Pension and Health Benefits, explained that the surveys showed United Methodist clergy are also obese in greater numbers than the national average.

"Boigegrain said the data lead the group to question: 'What is going on in the lives of the clergy that is causing them to be heavier, to have higher stress, and to be measurably less healthy than the rest of the population? …We need to look at the systems of the church.' The task force suggested that annual conferences and agencies provide comparative data and best practices to focus on the systemic issues and prepare recommendations for General Conference."

Retirement has quickly taught me that in spite of my self-perceived self-image, I'm about as fat as the kids said I was! Grandchildren would ask when the twins were due. My dear, health-conscious wife has invited me to walk most every evening in the neighborhood, and that has been wonderful. So far it hasn't done much for the total weight, but I think the pounds have been rearranged a bit. We've been trying to eat less. So I think there is progress on the physical front, literally.

There's also progress on the stress level. Retirement will do that for you, if you have decent health and a plan for living in retirement--a plan that needs to include more than how to pay for it. Frankly, I had no idea how high my stress level was until suddenly, I didn't have a job. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy my work--I did!--but the normal stress, let alone the extra stress, was wearing on me.

So, cool, retirement settles a couple of scores. But in my quest to be helpful and supportive for active pastors, what are some ways active pastors can deal with weight and stress matters?

I'd love to get answers to that question, but in the meantime, how about these:

• figure out a time and a way to get some regular exercise each day. A walk in the neighborhood, time at a gym, games with the children....
• park away from the hospital or store entrances and walk more. And take steps in the hospital instead of the elevator. There were times when that was the extent of my exercise program. That might explain the looks I got from nurses as I stepped out on the 4th floor or the 6th floor of area hospitals.
• meditation or prayer or a scheduled time for reflective or fun reading....
• delegate, delegate, and delegate some more. Sometimes it's easier to change the light bulb yourself, but if everybody in the building assumes that Pastor can do that each and every time, it gets to be a stressor....
• know your way. Some of us may actually "work best under pressure" but we may need to make sure those around us know that . . . or change the pattern because if it starts to be destructive for us or for our congregation.
• make friends with somebody! Dare I suggest the circuits in the Wisconsin Conference of the UMC? Keep in touch with one or several colleagues.

That's my short list for tonight. What works for you? How do you take care of your body and your spirit?

Shalom!

dave

Just a thought . . .

Shalom!

The NY TIMES feature offers something to ponder today:

- ON THIS DAY -

On October 5, 1947, in the first televised White House address, President Truman asked Americans to refrain from eating meat on Tuesdays and poultry on Thursdays to help stockpile grain for starving people in Europe.

http://www.nytimes.com/learning/general/onthisday/20071005.html

Here's a thought: what's wrong with this approach to international relations? Why can't we a) talk with people we don't like who happen to be the leaders of other nations, b) consider helping other nations with basic needs, c) model what it means to love the neighbor?

Shalom!
dave

Energy tip for early October

Shalom!

Got this from a friend and thought I'd pass it on. It's a good and simple way to save energy and money too at home or in the church building!

99 cents for an energy efficient light bulb sound good?

You can buy CFLs now for good prices like this. The first two weeks in October is the best time to buy energy efficient CFLs. Most hardware stores in the area participate in "instant rebate" promotions, and have much better selections than at other times of the year. Many stores offer CFLs to replace 60w, 75w or 100w incandescents. 99 cents a bulb for any of these three sizes. Get 'em while they're hot.

More on the promotion, including a full list of Wisconsin's participating stores: http://www.focusonenergy.com/page.jsp?pageId=1766

Shalom!
dave