Wandering in the Pastoral Fields of Praise and Otherwise

Shalom!

“Slings and arrows” is an article by Martin B. Copenhaver in the June 16, 2009 CHRISTIAN CENTURY, pp.20-24. I offer three paragraphs and a comment or two particularly for pastors...and maybe for parishioners as we think about the possibilities and perils of praise and criticism.

I have become convinced that in the ministry it is important not to take either the criticism or the praise too seriously. In fact, that may be the only way to survive. If you take the criticism too seriously, you can feel as if you are being “nibbled to death by ducks,” as one person has put it. Or you will be only as happy as your most unhappy parishioner. Or you will avoid speaking the truth. Or you will try to please everyone, which is impossible.

If you take the praise too seriously, you may find yourself doing more of whatever brings you praise, whether or not it is what you need to do to be a faithful and effective pastor. Praise may be a fitting reward, but it is a misleading motivator. And if you take praise too seriously, you put yourself in danger of forgetting that ministry is not about you.

Not taking criticism or praise too seriously reflects a certain paradox of ministry. The ministry requires that one care deeply about God’s people, including what they think. Otherwise why would one go into this work? At the same time, the ministry requires that one not care too much about God’s people, particularly about what they think. Otherwise how could one survive in this work? (p. 24)

Some suggestions offered by the author about how to deal with criticism include

+ the criticism isn't always ABOUT you, though it may be directed AT you;

+ if you think the criticism may have merit, ask "Would I seek out this person's opinion?" If your answer is "No," then perhaps you will want to disregard the criticism;

+ ignore anonymous criticism; and

+ understand that some times are better than others for receiving criticism!

Some words of advice about how to deal with praise include

+ beware of the pastor who needs too much praise;

+ keep a folder for notes and letters of encouragement;

+ become aware of your pastoral gifts and have confidence in them; and

+ understand that faithfulness in ministry is more important than seeking praise.

I like a lot of Copenhaver's ideas and phrases, one of which is the pastoral paradox of caring deeply but not too much for the people you are serving. It's a balancing act to be sure, but a necessary one. One test is when one moves or retires: can you let go of the deep attachments one forms in the pastoral role?

Another excellent short piece of advice: "Praise may be a fitting reward, but it is a misleading motivator." In my mind, this is paired quite well with his good point that ministry is not about the pastor, but it is about God. Our worship and our ministry point to God, not Pastor Soandsuch.

Shalom!
dave